Shopping Gender Differences: Hunting or Gathering

I heard a man on a radio call-in show ranting about how much money his wife spends on nail polish. I personally do not buy nail polish, but I still had to sympathize with the man's wife. If he's like many husbands I know, he's carrying on about his wife's nail polish while he's paying off a speedboat loan.

In my husband's mind, the only thing standing between him and a Harley-Davidson Sportster or a Triumph TR6 is me. While I do stand there--and firmly rooted I might add--I am certainly not standing alone. There are also many thousands of dollars between him and everything he wants. And that is a much more formidable obstacle than I'll ever be, believe it or not.

Women and men are very different when it comes to their shopping extravagances. There are exceptions of course, but in general, when women go on a shopping spree, they buy an outfit (or two or three) for themselves and underwear for the whole family. When men go on a shopping spree, they need a cosigner.

Shopping Gender Differences: Hunting or Gathering

I believe our shopping differences may stem from our hunter/gatherer beginnings. When men go shopping, they want to drag something home. Admittedly, they drag home far fewer items than their wives gather, but they're way ahead if you compare their purchases by weight rather than volume.

My friend took her husband shopping for groceries at a big discount store. She swears she only let him out of her sight for a moment. But that was long enough for him to hunt down a television and put it into their cart--right there beside the paper towels and canned soup she had gathered.

A gatherer goes shopping because the children need food or clothing--or because she has nothing left to wear. Notice I didn't say, "nothing in her closet." She always has plenty in her closet. The problem is, none of it fits. So she goes gathering and what does she gather? Something else that doesn't fit because she wants to lose weight anyway. In other words, when women shop, they feel inadequate about their bodies. When men shop, they feel inadequate about their vehicle fleet.

Women also feel the need to replace what has gone out of style. To their credit, men often hunt for items that never go out of style, although they do require routine maintenance--and new tools.

Many women I know don't just gather for themselves and their own family. I know a woman who bought a case of dog food because it was on sale. She doesn't even own a dog, but her sister does does. A man wouldn't think to bring home food for someone else's dog. But he might bring home a dog.

Hunters and gatherers behave differently when they get their purchases home, too. Many women I know hide their acquisitions from husbands who accuse them of shopping too much. They quickly take the tags off and toss the new socks and underwear into the dirty hamper. If a husband notices his wife's new outfit, she tells him it's been at the dry cleaners. (A wise woman keeps dry cleaner bags on hand. ) Or she says it was a hand-me-down from her sister. A wise woman has a sister.

Men, on the other hand, have a harder time hiding what they've drug home. That's because quite often, a man's purchase requires an addition to the garage. And most wives are likely to notice that.

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